Jesus? I'd have a drink with him.
But I'm not into the idea that we have to earn a God's presence.
One of the most difficult things about writing this work for me is the part that has to reengage with my childhood Catholicism—which I left in the rearview mirror a long, long time ago—to write this book. But Erna’s story is right in the middle of one of the largest surges of christianity in history. The Age of the Saints was critical in the conversion of the last of the European pagan or animistic ways of life.
Our Erna would have been a child raised amidst the conviction of belief in Jesus as the Christ and saviour and a participant in the push to colonise the others. That was the clear objective of the move to Iona. And we also know that the Church wasn’t quite like it is now then. We know that the patriarchal, misogynistic stuff was just starting to take hold at this time, and yet there was still plenty of room for magic, miracles and spiritual women in the community. It’s a fascinating time to me.
And, also it brings up some of the pain and disappointment of being raised a girl in the Catholic Church that I experienced. Like I said, I’d have a drink with Jesus, but I don’t require anyone to die for my sins. I no longer believe you have to earn or use a mediator to be in relationship with the divine or even the divine within yourself. But I’m also not an atheist which would be a simpler answer! For me it also doesn’t mean we don’t have teachers or wisdom holder and ritual leaders. But I will run very fast from anything that requires my dependence on another—even Jesus himself—to advocate for me to a god.
So this is a challenging subject for me in lots of ways. I’m also trying to understand what Erna’s eventual lover and his people would have said as they argued with the missionaries against accepting their faith. Interestingly I’m finding that the voices of women coming out of constrictive christian communities today give me the most inspiration for what that might have sounded like. And somehow that is giving me clarification and words for my own beliefs at this time too.
This week I encountered some strong writing by
“Why I don’t talk about Jesus much anymore.” And I knew I wanted to share this with you to explain my difficulty a bit! It’s so very good at holding the harm and comfort of christian beliefs together at the same.Click the Link above to read or listen to Celeste Davis read it herself on the Women Seeking Wholeness Podcast (starting at the 21:59 mark).
And if you’re still speaking to me after that…
In other news this week, thanks to the annual subscribers returning in October (I love you!) I was able to purchase a novel writing masterclass on BBC Maestro that is being taught by Ken Follett. Ken Follett being famous for the sweeping novel Pillars of the Earth about the construction of a medieval cathedral. The course is so rich and it has already given me a much better outlining process than I had previously. So I’m excited and feeling the progress!
More soon.
Susie
So glad you enjoyed my poem! It felt heretical to write so I understand the struggle!