Creativity is the first thing to go.
Once before when I had weeks filled with competing demands I just sent my letter subscribers at the time a quick email that said “Expect Chaos.” It’s been a couple of weeks like that around here.
Despite what my brain is trying to make me believe about it (I’m behind, I’m shit, no one will ever subscribe to my writing, etc) I really do want to normalise productivity gaps for everyone, and especially creatives. Missing a few posts is not abnormal, I want to consider it a normal part for me. I can’t write when I’m stressed or worried or just have a bunch of real life things like taxes and where I want to live (or not live) demanding all my attention.
No peace; no words.
It doesn’t mean the story isn’t knocking relentlessly against my thoughts of how to pay the bills and what needs to be done next, for me it means my nervous system won’t let me sit at my keyboard and translate (whatever that is up there) into these pixels. Even though I know all the things that can help you feel more grounded and steadier I often forget in those moments to practise them. I kind of just have to drop it while I get through things and keep making decisions to prioritise my peace.
If you’ve dropped your creativity for similar reasons I see you. Your work is worthy and important even if sometimes you choose to do some life stuff first sometimes.
I’ve been longing for Scotland very much this month. And I guess I am really longing to feel deeply connected to a piece of land like that again. Every time I look through a photo from there right now, I’m flushed with the longing for that. It’s part of the magic of the place where our story is set.
I’ve not found that connection here in Canada again yet. I will. But it’s not the lovely spot that saw me through my first return winter. I’m hitting the road for April to see some new, beautiful things again. I need to shake the winter’s closeness off. The sap is starting to run in me and I will act accordingly!
I’ll have a story update soon.
Susie